so when i suggested to Jason that for our 40th birthday we take his family out to dinner, he was a bit shocked.  did we want to spend all the money???  was i sure i knew what i was doing???  would anyone even come even when we were paying???  i didn’t have the answer to those questions but i did try to explain that it really bothers me that i was so close with my mom and now she’s gone and here is Jason’s whole family right here and we are not close to them.  there have been lots of things that have happened in the last 23 years and that is probably why we are not close, but life is simply too short to go through life not being close to your family.  in the last year we have gone to see Susan and her family 3 times and rekindled that relationship; i have rekindled a relationship with Don’s wife Laurie and i’m working on others.  i know that some will never be fixed, but i do know that i am going to try. 

so with that in mind, the week of the big dinner comes up on me and i panic.  what if it doesn’t work??? what if something goes wrong???  what if it backfires???  but i got my support system in place and went!!  i had the best time i’ve had in a very long time!!!  it seemed like everyone had a great time!!!  i know that i have made the attempt…will it make things better??? i don’t know, but i do know that i can rest assured that i am doing my best to makes sure things are better. 

3 thoughts on “birthdays

  1. thats all you can do is try and be sure it is the best you could do.. and let the ball hang in the other peoples courts and you be you and i'm sure everything will be fine.. love ya glad you had a blast.. love ya racheal jo

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