ok so lately i’ve been out of sorts. i feel betrayed, hurt and taken advantage of. instead of confronting this person and telling them how their words and actions have hurt me, i am choosing the high road to let it go. trying to forgive them for being selfish and mean is surely easier then the forgetting. but…today as the sunshine pours into my office window, i’m reminded that i can forgive and forget as long as i learn the lesson to not be taken advantage of again…no matter how badly i want to “help out”.
i love this song…it’s “Let It Go” by Tim McGraw and some of the lyrics are below…they always help me out…
And I know I’ve been forgiven
I know I’m gonna start living
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go
for 10 years i dreaded this day. it would come and i would be a basket case all day long. the pain so unbearable that there were times i couldn’t even leave my home. this was always a horrible experience for me – Mother’s Day. i tried to focus on my Mom, my Mother-in-law & my Sister but inevitably everyone else got to have a baby and there i was another year without one, without any hope of ever being a Mom.
then my world changed. this little bundle of joy was given to me and my entire world changed. where i was destitute before i had joy; where there was pain i now had peace. the sun shined brighter, the birds sang a little louder and the grass was a little greener. Jayden had come into my life. there are no words to explain how i felt with the selfless gift of life i was given but it was so evident to me that this was a priviledge that was given to me and i could not take it lightly.
Mother’s Day every year reminds me of the priviledge i was given…to be called “Mom”, to give unconditional love, to be able to impact another’s life. it is a great priviledge to be Jayden Nicholas David’s Mom….one i will never ever take for granted.
so after my trip to New Orleans, LA for work last month, I can honestly say that my eyes will never be the same…and felt much like Phoebe in that classic episode from Friends!!! the nakedness, the filth, the smell & the carnival atmosphere will forever be imbedded in my mind. the best part about the whole thing is that i will forever have this wonderful memory in the ‘Big Book of Jen’s Memories’ and no one can ever take away my wonderful experience!!!