my Anna

i come from a large convoluted family. most can’t understand who is related to whom and all that from one generation to another. so i typically am simply, “Aunt Jen”. however, my namesake, Racheal, who is 11 yrs younger then me was raised calling me “Aunt Jenny”. I haven’t been called Jenny since i was 17 or 18…but yet she is now teaching her children (my great nieces) to call me “Aunt Jenny”. my mom told me many years ago that i can’t have favorites in our family. so i try very hard not to have favorites but i will say that there are some of my nieces & nephews (and yes, i do not recognize the “great” for the generational gap…i simply am “Aunt Jenny” to all) who “click” with me more then others. Racheal’s youngest daughter, Ryannah, and I “click”!! Racheal told me last night via text message that some how my eggs were in her body and were used for Anna cause evidently Anna is a bit like her Aunt Jenny!! i am very opinionated and a smart alleck and so is my niece Racheal and now so is Anna…Anna has told her mom (Racheal) that her name is now Ryannah Jo Jo Alysse because she has to be named after Aunt Jenny too!! And this Anna is the same little spitfire who decided to hack big pieces of her hair off (cause Aunt Jenny is the only one to cut her hair and evidently she was missing me) so that she could have short hair like Aunt Jenny. *smile* so Anna and i have a very special bond.

so last night i got a video that Anna is about to lose her first tooth i was very excited. losing the first tooth is a very big deal and Anna is about to be a big girl now.

when her tooth came out today and i got this video, i had a moment of tears for missing this moment in my Anna’s life but was so proud of her…

i can’t wait until she is back home with me or i’m there with her. i know that Anna is the closest thing i will ever have of having a girl like me…and i’m thankful every day that she is in my life.


heartfelt reflections

we’ve all heard the adage ‘some people are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime’. it’s always a hurtful wake up call when the ones you assume are there for a lifetime turn out to be only there for a season. it’s a very unique pain that comes in the wake of that turn of events. it’s some thing that i didn’t think i would need to experience again but yet here i am again and the pain is the same. but this time, i’m better prepared and better adjusted to the void that will now be in my life. it bothers me that this relationship has shuffled from “lifetime” to “a season” because of perceptions of half truths and misunderstandings. but i cannot control what others think or believe so i just let it go. as the relationships within my life tumble around and re-adjust i’m reminded that in the end the pain that hurts the worst comes from those who were the closest. i survived before and i most certainly will survive again because i know that time heals everything.

My Old Friend by Tim McGraw
My old friend, I recall the times we had hanging on my wall
I wouldn’t trade them for gold cause they laugh and they cry me
Somehow sanctify me. They’re woven in the stories I have told
And tell again

My old friend, my old friend
Goodbye, goodbye