so it was about 12:47am this morning that my phone rang with the hospital telling me that my Dad wasn’t doing well in intermediate care and needed to be moved to critical care. his blood pressure was 70/40 and he has pneumonia and fluid on the his lungs. he couldn’t have his heart treated or his lungs would fail; can’t treat the lungs or the heart rate goes down. i asked if i needed to come then, the nurse said no. so i call my brother & sis-in-law and let them know. my brother calls me back around 3:45 and we make plans to go up first thing this morning.
my close circle of strong women – REAL
so as i go on without my one friend who i thought would be here forever, life is different. i have surrounded myself with strong, loyal women who have taught me that friendship isn’t about knowing each other the longest, but instead about sticking together no matter what. that friendship isn’t about who knows your secrets but about those who know your secrets and accepts you anyways. that friendship isn’t about having to call when i need them, but about them being close enough to know to come anyways, whether i call or not. my group of strong, loyal women – real!!!
so yes, my life is different. and a part of me misses my one friend, but i don’t miss the drama it took to keep her as a friend. but over all…different is so much better.
as my life continues to evolve, i find that i’m currently in a state of flux. where will i be in 1 week, 2 week, 2 months, 6 months??? these questions plague my mind.
i am a person who always has everything planned out – down to the minute detail. i am organized. my calendar is color coded. i normally can tell you what i was doing this time last year, 5 yrs and 10 yrs ago…just because i am JUST that organized. so to be living life on a whim isn’t my cup of tea.
will i be living here or there?? when would such a move happen?? why isn’t my family who i thought they were??
why is everything changing?? more importantly, why can’t i keep up???