WGS & Mom’s Trip to Indiana

The smelly 15 year old person who lives in my house and I went to the frozen tundra that is Indiana for his Spring Break.  What we were thinking, I’ll never know.  But it allowed us time with some very special people most of whom I consider family.

Friends are family we choose for ourselves.

Tony & Shannon came to get us at the airport!

Tony & Shannon came to get us at the airport!

My old neighborhood...look at the snow!

My old neighborhood…look at the snow!

Our old house

Our old house

Our old house...shocking how it's no longer "home"

Our old house…shocking how it’s no longer “home”

Hacienda!!

Hacienda!!

Infamous chips, salsa & CCQ

Infamous chips, salsa & CCQ

Essenhaus with my sisters, Amy & Karen

Essenhaus with my sisters, Amy & Karen

My sisters, Amy & Karen

My sisters, Amy & Karen

The one thing that Indiana does better than Oklahoma - McDonald's Coke

The one thing that Indiana does better than Oklahoma – McDonald’s Coke

Jay & Bumpy

Jay & Bumpy

Kiesha after Jay grabbed her...she didn't want her picture taken with him since he's taller than her now.

Kiesha after Jay grabbed her…she didn’t want her picture taken with him since he’s taller than her now.

Kiesha, Jay, Logan & Ally

Kiesha, Jay, Logan & Ally

The snow & the gray...the reason we left Indiana!

The snow & the gray…the reason we left Indiana!

Housley Girls Night Out - me, Savannah, Taba & Kiesha (Kiesha's first GNO)

Housley Girls Night Out – me, Savannah, Taba & Kiesha (Kiesha’s first GNO)

Housley Girls Night Out - Nancy

Housley Girls Night Out – Nancy

Hacienda's Bar Nachos

Hacienda’s Bar Nachos

Anna & Aunt Jenny

Anna & Aunt Jenny

Anna & Aunt Jenny

Anna & Aunt Jenny

Alex & Aunt Jenny

Alex & Aunt Jenny

Alex & Aunt Jenny

Alex & Aunt Jenny

Kyrah & Aunt Jenny

Kyrah & Aunt Jenny

Me & the girls

Me & the girls

Cordelia Grace's "mean" face

Cordelia Grace’s “mean” face

Cordy & Aunt Jen

Cordy & Aunt Jen

Hanging at the Old People's House

Hanging at the Old People’s House

Bekah & Jay

Bekah & Jay

Jon, Jay & Jeaniki

Jon, Jay & Jeaniki

Jeanica's Sweet 16 Birthday

Jeanica’s Sweet 16 Birthday

Me & Jeaniki

Me & Jeaniki

Me & Jeaniki...check out that tongue!

Me & Jeaniki…check out that tongue!

Aunt Jen can still "hold" Jay

Aunt Jen can still “hold” Jay

Justice, Jay & Aunt Jen

Justice, Jay & Aunt Jen

Joce, Jay, Justice

Joce, Jay, Justice

Joce & Jay...he finally is taller than she is!

Joce & Jay…he finally is taller than she is!

Rob Manthey, Rob Luter, Phats Xayamath, Jay

Rob Manthey, Rob Luter, Phats Xayamath, Jay

Me & my engineering guys

Me & my engineering guys

Two of my favorite women, Nana Liz & Grandma Barb

Two of my favorite women, Nana Liz & Grandma Barb

me & my sister, Laurita

me & my sister, Laurita

Grandma Barb, Jay & Nana Liz

Grandma Barb, Jay & Nana Liz

Shane, Jay, Skylar, Laurita

Shane, Jay, Skylar, Laurita

Shane, me, Skylar & Laurita

Shane, me, Skylar & Laurita

Grandpa Bob, Jay & Grandma Barb

Grandpa Bob, Jay & Grandma Barb

 What an amazing time of seeing people who mean the most to us – family!

trust

according to http://www.dictionary.com, trust is defined as:
–noun

1.

reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of aperson or thing; confidence.
2.

confident expectation of something; hope.
3.

confidence in the certainty of future payment for property orgoods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.

–verb (used without object)

13.

to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something(usually followed by in or to ): to trust in another’s honesty;trusting to luck.
14.

to have confidence; hope: Things work out if one onlytrusts.
15.

to sell merchandise on credit.
–verb (used with object)

16.

to have trust or confidence in; rely or depend on.
17.

to believe.
18.

to expect confidently; hope (usually followed by a clause orinfinitive as object): trusting the job would soon be finished;trusting to find oil on the land.

Today, I participated in a staff retreat with my co-workers in Oxen Hills, MD. During that retreat, one of the activities was one that demonstrated if we trusted those we work with. I had to step back and realize that I only trusted one or two people who were in the same room with me. It was a sobering discovery.
For those who know me, you know that I LOVE my job. It’s challenging, no two days are ever the same, and it’s a job I can and do well. But it’s really bothered me that I have trouble trusting those who work with me.
I know why I don’t trust people. It’s as plain as the nose (and freckles) on my face. Isn’t identifying the problem all I need to do and I’ll be all fixed?? Apparently that is NOT the case. The real question becomes, how can I trust again?
There are 17459 different websites that offer relationship advice in “how to” trust again. After reading a few of them, I realize there was a common thread…go slowly. *sigh* You mean there isn’t a quick fix that I can do and instantly be fixed?? Apparently NOT.
My wise friend Robin said, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” A very true statement, one that I’ve lived by for years. However, since this is the second time the betrayal has happened, I’ve found a little better one to live by, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me thrice, you’ll pay the price.” To me that means something very different than one might envision when reading it. The only way to manage this type of betrayal (because I can’t cut this person out of my life) is to handle it the way I was brought up to handle it…Biblically. In Romans, we’re told to feed our enemy, we’re told to give our enemy something to drink…in other words, HELP them, be kind to them…and by so doing we will heap burning coals upon his head.
20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Now Paul isn’t talking about literal burning rocks, but more of the emotional discomfort your enemy will feel when their conscience is awakened at their actions and conduct toward you. it’s not easy, but it MUST be done.
So…I try again. I seek out co-workers look to be trustworthy and begin very slowly building relationships with them…little bit at a time…so that when the time comes, the trust has already been established.

a travel related revelation

so my job requires travel. i used to travel at least once a month, but the past year, it’s been only a few months that have required me to travel around. in April, i went to New Orleans, LA and this week i’ve been in San Francisco, CA. when we travel to the office it’s in Greenbelt, MD (which is right between Baltimore, MD and DC). i love to travel. i love the excitement of being completely out of control of what is happening. i like to pack. i like to see what kind of cool toiletries i will find next. traveling for me is a positive experience. but through out traveling to Baltimore, DC, NOLA & SF i’ve truly come to realize that i could never live in a place where there was no sky. the sky, the sun, the very day light of the sun is so very important to me. i have to be able to see the sky, the land, when i need it. as i sit in the down town fancy hotel in down town San Francisco, i am realizing that i need the wide open spaces, the big blue sky to be happy. i wonder if i can talk my boys into moving to Montana or Wyoming…in my dream house, of course!!!